Loneliness For Christmas
by Lilka
Summary: The year is AC 197 and the g-boys have moved on and haven't talked since the battle with Marimeia's troops. Christmas is here again...and they feel uncomplete...
1. Duo's Part

This story was suppose to be just one fic but it became to long for that so -_-*...I've split the beginning into five parts and then put the rest in one. Enjoy.   
Dedicated to my friend Misty, who enjoys my fics the most!   
Loneliness for Christmas  
Duo's Part  
By: Maria  
  
It's A.C. 197, Christmas is five days away. People on Earth and the colonies are roaming about making sure they have presents for all their loved ones, food for their Christmas banquet, and finishing mailing cards and packages. Children playing with the newly fallen snow and couples enjoying peaceful strolls in their neighborhoods, yes, in the air there's happiness and excitement. But...not everyone was happy, excited or even buy gifts or Christmas cards.  
  
Duo, Heero, Quatre, Trowa, and Wu Fei aren't enjoying the holiday season...  
  
Duo walked down the streets of L2, shoulders slumped down, hands in his pockets and face hidden behind his hat.  
  
"Hn...how can they all be so happy? There's nothing to be happy about or to celebrate. Holidays...brings loneliness and sadness. I just want to get what I was sent for and then go home and sleep away this stupid holiday." Duo watched two children bulid a snowman.   
  
"All my life Christmas was filled with loneliness especially after the incident...at the ch...urch. My only real home and family."  
  
'That's not true! You have another family. A family with Heero, Quatre, Trowa, and Wu Fei!' his conscience yelled.  
  
"That's totally crazy! They aren't my family. Where are they then!? Huh?! Enjoying their own lives, that's where. Being happy...no I'm alone, always have and always will. Can't wait for this holiday to end."  
  
'You should try communicating with them. Then you'll see they're probably just as lonely as you.'  
  
"Will you shut up! One: I'm not lonely...just don't like Christmas too many memories. Two: Heero and Trowa are void of emotions so they wouldn't know what loneliness is if it bit them on the butt! Quatre, well he has twenty-nine sisters to keep him company. Wu Fei...well he could probably go with Heero and Trowa, plus he's with Sally Po working. No time to care about Christmas or a use-to-be Gundam pilot. I even bet Heero's with Relena! Hmph...and finally we were never that close! Not close enough to be friends. Maybe Quatre and me bonded a bit, but the others...yeah right! I was just a tool for the battles we fought just like they were."  
  
'I have to disagree on all three counts. You are lonely, why else would you be talking about it this way. You even said "all my life Christmas has been filled with loneliness".'  
  
"I meant...in the past...not...well...leave me along!"  
  
'They only act as if they have no feelings, to cover their painful past. Keep from hurting, you should know how they feel. You can see it when you five were together. It's there. You yourself put on this mask...this cheerful appearance and you call your self death as well.'  
  
"Ok, so maybe they hide behind masks too and have feelings, but that doesn't mean they want or need me."  
  
'Wrong! You need them and they need you. You guys haven't gotten close. Why else do you hold ALL of them close to your heart? Why do you always look back to the days you were together? Because they're your friends and you care about. Especially Heero, he's very important to you.'  
  
"What! I...I don't love him!"  
  
'Ha! I never said you did. I said he was very important to you. And this proves that you do love him, terms beyond friends.'  
  
"Look you! Shut up! Why am I talking to you! Wait! Why am I talking to myself! I've been walking all this time arguing with myself! That's it I don't want to talk...to you...myself." Duo throws his arms up in defeat.  
  
People who he has passed and around him look at him like he was crazy. Duo put his hands in his pockets again and walks into the store in front of him.  
  
"I don't know why Hilde couldn't have come to get what she wanted instead of sending me. What do I look like, Santa's elves?!"  
  
'Yep!'  
  
"I told you to go away!" Duo walked down one aisle after another getting the four items Hilde asked him to get for her. He groaned when he saw the lines at the register. "Great just what I need. Nothing like standing in line for the next four years. Man*continues mumbling silently*"  
  
'Why is Christmas so busy! Everyday! Every minute! Glad I don't have to buy gifts. Let's see...one...two...three...four...five! Five people in front of me *groans* Why does Hilde need this trash anyways! Some holiday candles, one of her silly romance novels, another pack of Christmas lights, and this silver chain. Hey alright one person left then me!'  
  
"Thank you for shopping at Celeron. Have a Merry Christmas." the cashier turned and looked at Duo. "Hello. How was everything?"  
  
"Hmmm...*mumbles* had to wait half my life..."  
  
"Excuse me?"  
  
"Nice. Fine, got everything." she(cashier) rang up the items and put them in a bag.  
  
"Oh what a nice chain. A gift for your girlfriend?"  
  
"No. I don't have a girlfriend. It's not mine. It's not a gift. I'm not buying gifts."  
  
"Oh...your total is thirty-one forty-five."  
  
"Here you go...it's the exact amount." Duo picks up his bag and begins to leave.  
  
"Have a Merry Christmas!"  
  
"Yeah right. Merry Christmas ho ho ho." 


	2. Quatre's Part

Loneliness For Christmas  
Quatre's Part  
By: Maria  
  
Quatre sat at his desk, important papers all around him, looking out the window at nothing in particular. "Christmas...I've never really given much care about it...til now. The last two, there were wars to fight. No time to think of gifts, friendship growing, the spirit of Christmas, or celebrating. *sigh* And before then, I didn't care about anything or anyone. Now that's all that's on my mind. They have been on my mind for the longest time now. I wish...I wish I knew how they were. Where they are? Trowa...Duo...Wu Fei...Heero...they're probably all alone. It isn't right for them to be all alone for Christmas. Well they can't be really alone...Duo's got Hilde, Heero has Relena(who'd want that ^_^), and Trowa has his sister and circus family. Wu Fei, he has no one! Well the Preventers crew."  
  
"Quatre? Dear? Are you alright? You look very distracted and sad. What's the matter my sweet little brother?" Quatre's sister looked at him worried.  
  
"Hmmm...I was thinking about how lonely it would be if I didn't have family near by. I'm glad we've planned that reunion/Christmas party."  
  
looked at Quatre carefully. "Quatre. You can't lie to me. I know you're thinking of all your friends. If you miss them so, why don't you get Rashid to help you look for them and you five can celebrate Christmas together. We sisters won't mind, infact it's an order from us for you to do this." she walks over and gives him a hug.  
  
"No. I already said I was going to this party/reunion. Besides if they wanted to be found or have some kind of get together then they would have stayed in contact with me. I'm sure they're just fine."  
  
"Well if that's what you want...I won't argue. But you're welcome to go and find them and spend Christmas...and New Years with them." walks over to the door. "It's not going to be a good Christmas if you're lonely." She opens the door and walks out.  
  
Quatre looks at all the documents in front of him. "Why am I working on all these documents. They don't have to be settled until after New Years. I'm trying to push the thoughts of the guys...of Trowa most of all...out of my mind, that's why. *sigh* I should go outside and think. The snow on the ground makes everything look so beautiful. I should enjoy it."  
  
Quatre gets up, gives his desk one last look, then walks out of the office, grabbing a jacket, a scarf and gloves on the way out. " I'm going to step outside for a while. If anyone calls for me tell them I'll get back to them." An ok was heard from somewhere in the kitchen. Quatre got outside and walked along the white blanketed ground.  
  
"I wonder if the others are enjoying this beautiful scenery. If only they were here...heh heeh Duo would probably start a snow ball fight with Wu Fei and we'd all get dragged into it. We could enjoy hot chocolate together and decorating the house! Or going ice skating or sleighing. *sigh* But that's not going to happen." Quatre let's himself fall back on to the snow. "No...we don't seem to have a reason to be together anymore."  
  
Quatre stares up at the sky and starts to make a snow angel. He stops and continues to stare at the sky, "I wish Trowa was here making angels with me...right next to me. Then it would look like they were holding hands. But would he want to?" Quatre got up, careful not to ruin his angel and proceeded to make another one next to the first. When he was done, he stood and looks at them. "They're perfect. One last touch and I'm done."  
  
Quatre walked to the top part of the angel and began to write something in the snow. After finishing with one he went to the other. "There now you two are finished." Above the snow angels he wrote, "Trowa" and the other "Quatre".  
  
I should go inside now. I'll come back later." He walked in his front door, hung up his coat and scarf, then headed for the kitchen for something nice and warm to drink.  
  
"Quatre you got a phone call a few minutes ago."  
  
"Oh. Who was it? Was it Jordan asking about the proposals that were sent to him?"  
  
"No, it was Relena Dorlian. She wants you to call her...immediately."  
  
"Relena?!" 'Could something be wrong?' Quatre headed for his office phone. He looks up the number to her estate and then dials and waits as it rings several times before being answered.  
"Hello. May I speak with Miss Relena Dorlian?"  
  



	3. Heero's Part

Loneliness For Christmas  
Heero's Part  
By: Maria  
  
Heero stood outside Relena's estate gates, watching for signs of problems. He did this about twice a month, when he'd be passing by. He wouldn't do this everyday for the rest of his life. But since Christmas was nearly there he decided he'd stay in town until Christmas was over and he felt it was safe to say there wasn't going to be a war this Christmas.  
  
Heero leaned against a tree as he gave the building one last glance and proceeded to go back to town and sleep.   
  
"this appears to be my first Christmas not being a Gundam Pilot or a machine...my first real free Christmas...alone."  
  
'What are you saying! You have no feelings! Even now, it makes no difference if you're a Gundam Pilot or not. Feelings and friends just interfere with the task at hand! Feelings equal weakness and defeat.' Heero had to nod in agreement with his thoughts. 'Now focus on getting to your room for rest. Can't make an error.'  
  
One last thought escaped Heero's mind and mouth before he pushed everything away. "Duo"  
  
Heero took a warm shower once he arrived at the hotel room. He stepped out of the bathroom, sweat pants, no shirt, and two towels. One towel resting on his shoulders and the other was being used to dry his hair. His room was warm, besides that if it was cold he'd have blocked it out, so he sat down on his bed and threw the towels aside. Heero laid back and stared up at the ceiling.  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
'What would Duo say about you laying around?' a little voice purred into his ear.  
  
He tried to push the voice away but he knew what Duo would say.  
  
"Heero! You're not sitting at your laptop! Is something wrong!?"  
  
"Duo...Omae o kurso."  
  
"Nope, everything must be fine. Well then why don't we go outside and enjoy life a bit? Whatdaya say?"  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
'He'd say something like that with a big grin on his face...hmmm...I hope Duo's enjoying Christmas." Heero rolled over on to his side and drifted off to sleep.  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
"Heero! Heero! Heero, where are you?" Heero opened his eyes and saw Duo running around frantically looking for something.  
  
"Duo..." he whispered.  
  
"Heero! It's Christmas, I don't want to be alone! Why won't you let me find you, Heero..." Duo fell to his knees crying.  
  
Heero felt a terrible ache in his heart and made his way to Duo. Duo suddenly stood up and looked right at him.  
  
"I don't want to be alone, Heero. I don't want to be alone." Duo raised a gun to his head. Before Heero could do or say anything Duo pulled the trigger, his body falling to the ground and blood covering the ground around his form.  
  
"Duoooooo!!" Heero yelled.  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
Heero sat up breathless, sweaty and shaky. 'What happened. Where's Duo!' Heero looked around confused. 'It was just a dream. Duo didn't kill himself because of me, I let my mind wonder to the other pilots and therefore it created a nightmare in my head.'  
  
Heero got up and decided it was best to just forget about it and forget about the others. After dressing and eating something small, Heero walked back to Relena's estate.Along the way a pink limousine passed by him, it stopped on backed up a bit. Pagan got out of the vehicle and walked towards Heero, who was coming up towards the car.  
"Heero Yuy! Miss Relena has been looking for you everywhere! Please Heero get in the car and I'll escort you to her." Heero looked at Pagan with his icy glare.  
  
"I have nothing to do with Relena. I won't go see her."  
  
Heero continued walking towards the estate leaving Pagan standing there. Pagan, finally getting his wits together got into the car and made his way to the estate. He went inside to find Relena. Relena had just gotten off the phone when Pagan walked in her office.  
  
"Miss Relena?"  
  
"Yes, Pagan what is it?"  
  
"Heero Yuy is just outside this estate. He wouldn't come in and I thought you may like to know he's there."  
  
"Thank you Pagan. I think I'll go out there and talk to him." Relena puts on a heavy jacket and scarf and goes outside to talk to Heero.  
  
Heero stood amongst the trees watching the mansion, when he noticed Relena walking towards him. 'Hmmm...I should leave.'  
  
"Heero, I'm so glad to see you." Relena smiled. "I've been trying to get a hold of you. I have some important news for you."  
  
Heero gave her his normal glare.  
  
"Well, Heero I was planning this wonderful Christmas Reunion of sorts. I have this..."Heero interrupted.  
  
"I don't plan on going."  
  
"No. I wasn't going to make you. I just wanted you to have this invitation. I do think you should go. It'll make you happier. I've invited the other ex-Gundam pilots." Relena walked back to the estate.  
  
'The truth of the matter is if Relena's having this reunion thing...I have to go. It's my duty to make sure no war breaks out and Relena isn't captured again this year.' Heero thought as he stared blankly at the invitation.  
  



	4. Trowa's Part

Loneliness for Christmas  
Trowa's Part  
By: Maria  
  
A final knife whizzed by Trowa's head, hitting its mark by his ear. The audience roared with applause for a great performance by Katherine and Trowa. Katherine and Trowa bowed.  
  
"Wonderful performance you two! Your act is always one of the most popular!" the manager said.  
  
"Thank you, manager. Trowa's acrobatic act most be the most popular!" Katherine said smiling at her brother.  
  
"Yes it is. Trowa, you should be very proud of that."  
  
"..." Trowa turned and walked outside to the lions cage. He was greeted with a soft purr. "It's a quite night don't you think?" he asked the purring lion. "And beautiful...like the ones I shared with Quatre, Heero, Duo, and Wu Fei."  
  
Trowa stared up at the starry sky. Trowa and his circus family were currently on Earth, plans for heading to the colonies weren't till after the holidays. As he watched the sky, small snow flurries started falling.   
"Huh? It's snowing again." he stuck his hand out to catch some of the snow flurries. "So small, pure and delicate...just like...just like Quatre."  
  
The lion wanted some attention so it grabbed a hold of Trowa's shirt and pulled on it. "What? Haa ha ha...I get it. You want me to put you inside don't you? Let me hook you up to the truck."  
  
Trowa got into the special holding truck for the animals and grabbed the chain that helped load up the cages. He attached the chain to the cage and started the loading machine. After finishing he jumped into the truck and sat by the cage.  
  
"I really wish Quatre was here. I could use someone to talk to right now."  
  
The lion disliking his statement, roared.  
  
"I'm sorry, I meant a human companion to talk to with. And he's very understanding and helpful. I miss the times I had with him and the others. I never thought a nobody like me could miss people and if I did miss someone it, I would have thought, would only be Quatre. Do you think it's odd of me to miss them?"  
  
"No, actually I'm not surprised you miss them."  
  
"Huh!!" Trowa looked to the door way of the truck. "Katherine."  
  
"Trowa, I wish you'd come to me when you need someone to talk to. My dear younger brother, come. Let's talk."  
  
"Hmm..." Trowa was about to leave when he decided against it. "Fine Kathy. Let's talk."  
  
Katherine smiled and sat down on a cage across from Trowa.  
  
"Well...tell me everything you're feeling. I know you've been feeling kinda...my guess is lonely."  
  
"I don't quite understand my feelings right now Katherine. I...miss them though...not really. Duo...even though I was uncommunicative with him, he would still talk to me and he's bright and amusing. Quatre seems to...light everything up for me...he's special...I know he is. Wu Fei well his intelligence and a puzzle. Heero...able to take charge of any situation and have very insightful things to help you. Maybe...these aren't reasons to miss them but it's what I know about them that makes me want to get to know them...I think."  
  
"Trowa...I think you're learning and feeling the true meaning of friendship and with friendship comes a wide range of feelings. Like caring, love, understand, forgiveness, loyalty, honesty, honor and many more. Good and bad. Maybe now you'll look and act a little more normal." Katherine walks over to Trowa and gives him a big hug. "I was a little worried about telling you this...but seeing that those four bought something good to you...and they mean so much to you...I'll tell you."  
  
"What is it Kathy?" Trowa asked curiously wondering why she'd hind something from him.  
  
"You see two days ago...this invitation and letter came to out mail box...they were addressed to you and are from Relena. I got worried that it was some kind of call for you to go and fight again...so I opened it and read everything. It wasn't bad, but it mentioned the other four so I..." Katherine looked guilty.  
  
"The others! Let me have them Katherine. Please, they are mine after all." Trowa felt a slight tremble pass through him.  
  
"Of course." She pulls them out of her pocket. "It seems to be about a Christmas reunion...and you five are invited to go. Relena asks for those planning on attending to call her and let her know."  
  
Trowa looked over the invitation and then read the letter:  
  
Dearest Trowa,  
Hello. I hope life sees you well. It's the holidays and I am planning a delightful reunion for you Gundam pilots, the Preventers Crew, Noin, Zechs and Marimeia and of course myself. The invitation has all the information about the place and my number to inform me of your attendance to this grand reunion. It shall be a three day event, the 23rd to day after Christmas. I do hope you attend.  
  
Sincerely,  
  
Relena Dorlian  
  
"A chance to meet up with them again...to see Quatre...I don't know if I should go..."  
  
"Trowa..." Katherine walks over and places her hand on his shoulder gently. "I think you should go. It's your obligation to go . You need to face them again and let them see how you've changed and missed them. Believe it or not I've noticed that spark of lonilness your eye portait often now a days. Do it for me...no do it for your...for Quatre."  
  
Trowa looked up at his sister.  



	5. Wu Fei's Part

Loneliness for Christmas  
Wu Fei's Part  
By: Maria  
  
Wu Fei was leaning back in his chair at Perventers Headquaters, staring at the cieling. Him and Sally Po had just arrived from another small fire. And whenever he was left with nothing to do his mind wondered to the past, to the people and events of his past.  
  
'Another Christmas is here, but we haven't gotten another Treize...how is it the other four live a normal life when they too shared the war with me? We were soldiers but they found a meaning beyond the battlefield. Is that not possible for me? I've learned a great deal from those four, and I hope I've taught them something. They are the only ones with the capibility to understand me and my ordeals. Meiran how is it I miss them?' Wu Fei closed his eyes. 'Maybe it's not them but being a soldier with them...'  
  
Sally Po walked into the room, holding a cup of coffee and looked at Wu Fei. 'He must be thinking about his friends.'  
  
'I wonder why I remember Meiran so well, even now. Should I have forgotten her? I really didn't bother with her, that's how I am with Quatre, Heero Duo, and Trowa..or was with them. We were just forced together...' Wu Fei opened his eyes.'We share similar pain. I have to stop this and find them and start some sort kind of communication system with them!'  
  
"Have you come to a decision Wu Fei?" she smiled  
  
"Hmm...I don't know what you're talking about onna."  
  
"Your friends of course."  
  
"I don't have any friends. All I have is a role in the Preventers Organization, where I see justice being served."  
  
"Oh Wu Fei. You can't deny what's in your heart. Preventers may have filled that emptiness you felt a year ago but I think it too has died out and what you really need and want is a more normal life and your friends." Sally Po watched his amazed expression.  
  
Wu Fei was stunned that someone was able to read what he thought and hoped for. Wu Fei stared at her.  
  
"Now that I've shown you that I know! I have something else to tell you Relena called to tell us about a Christmas reunion she has planned starting on the twenty third. We were invited and I need to know if you're planning on going. I have to call Relena and let her know if you are or aren't."  
  
I'll call her and let her know of my plans of going."  
  
"You mean you're not going to fight me off! You're going." Sally Po was amazed.  
  
"*smirks* Seems I've amazed you onna! I shall not be a coward and run from them. Maybe friends are what I need in my life now..." Wu Fei looked up at the cieling.  
  
"And you don't think I'm your friend?" Sally Po asked.  
  
"Ha! An onna like you my friend!" Wu Fei looked at her angry face. "Yes, but more as a mentor or suprior. I give you more respect then a regular friend. Now please excuse me, Sally Po. I have a call to make."  
  
Wu Fei walked to the door and then left. Sally Po sat therestaring at the door.  
  
"I can't believe he said all that nice stuff to me! And he actually said my name. Boy the holidays do wonders to a person." she said.  
  
Wu Fei walked into Lady Une's office and picked up the telephone. Lady Une had Relena's number on a phone directory on her desk. Wu Fei dialed up the number.  
  
"Hello, Relena Dorlian, please." Wu Fei tapped his finger on the desk  
  
"Hello. This is Relena. Who am I speaking with?"  
  
"This is Wu Fei. I'm just calling to inform you that I plan on going to this reunion tomorrow." He said monotone.  
  
"Wonderful! Ilook forward to seeing you there Wu Fei. I'll talk to you later then. Bye."  
  
"Bye." He hung up and decided to go do his packing and check to see when Sally Po was planning on leaving.  
  



End file.
